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Dunraukion
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Name: Naz
Birthday: 11/5/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: I've started working out and will do so 4 times a week.. starting basketball again.. mostly just sitting infront of my computer..
Expertise: Heh.. Not a thing.. really.. Not a damn thing I can do without fucking up.. I swear alot though.. o.O
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  Ixastophanis
Member Since:
9/6/2003
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| So... Again here to complain.. though better here than bother people with it irl.. My parents came home yesterday from france.. they had been there for two weeks and stuff.. heh.. I cam home late from my gf, watching movies and hanging out with other people..I opened the door to their bedroom where they were sleeping and was like "Hi there.. welcome back" And they were like "uuuuuuh.. go to sleep".. Which is ok.. I suppose.. but then comes today.. They leave early for a fishing trip and when they come home all my mother says to me is.. well.. actually she didn't say it to me.. she asked my father to ask me how long i had slept today.. doesnt make sense really.. and then later when i'm going to get the vacume thingy i overhear my father asking my mother if she had even talked to me today and she replies.."No.. what's there to say to him?".. I'm probably overreacting but I think my mother hates me.. she's hostile to me all the fucking time.. I'm sitting here..starving cause I don't want to go downstairs where she is.. in fear of her either screaming at me or just ignoring me which is almost worse.. I fail to understand why she hates me.. or at least dislikes me so much.. I feel like she's always comparing me to my brother or sister which are both smarter than me, better than me in everything and just.. in my parents eyes alot better children than me.. But how the fuck can they expect me to want to do better when all they do is tell me how useless I am? They make me feel so damn bad about myself, which I really shouldnt do.. I live in the worlds 3rd richest and best country so I shouldnt complain but life here sucks.. all good things in life are lost at this moment in my life.. Losing feelings for my gf, parents hating me and siblings thinking me useless.. They complain about me sitting too much infront of my computer too but where the fuck am I supposed to be!? This is the only fucking place in the world I feel I belong.. I've got good friends here who listen and well.. I've got Star-Trek.. What the fuck more do I need? Bah.. I'm tired of all this.. I want to get into the army and just say goodbye to all of em.. but if I'm to believe my parents and siblings they won't want me in the army because I'm to stupid and weak un thin and ugly and bla bla bla.. Fuck em.. | | |
| Uhm.. Where is Vin? I mean.. get back on the net.. talk.. be there.. Gee.. like.. come back.. The same goes for you Yi.. Stop studying and start talking.. Arti.. I'm not even going to start with you.. you just get back at MMJIP and stay there.. Darned metalhead:P | | |
| So.. Already went to the gym today so I have to get my agression out another way.. I should really stop working out before I eat dinner because.. every single time I eat with the three other people in my family currently living here I get angry.. They have this rare gift of always teaming up on me to tell me how stupid I am.. The more those fuckers tell he how stupid and ugly and lazy I am the more i realize they're right.. Heh.. I am stupid.. I'm the person in my family with the lowest grades..(If you're now thinking about telling me about my other qualities.. just shut the fuck up because every single person in my family has the same "qualities" as I do..) I'm the person in of my siblings who looks the worst and dresses the worset and all that shit.. And I'm also the person in my whole fucking family who works the least and does the least and all that shit.. And oh, yeah.. I'm the fucking person in my fucked family who gets trashed the most by the others.. God.. It usually doesnt get me down cause I've got someone to lean on but.. Online people havent been on too much lately and my gf is in friggin Romania visiting some orphanage or something.. I should probably stop feeling so sorry for myself but.. heh.. Fuck it.. | | |
| Ok. Something is wrong with me.. I'm afraid today. I'm watching Lost and It freaks me out like hell.. I'm afraid to sit with my back to the door of my room..
I'll be back later.
Ok. This is later and I thought it would get better but it's worse.. Damn Lost is freaking me out.. Episode 20 now.. # 19 was scary enough, at least in the end.. damn..
Done with # 20 now.. Someone died.. Aaah! I miss Yi and Vin.. You're never on IRC and like.. Never on msn or just quiet all the time.. Miss thee..
Naz | | |
| I am so fuckin tired of trusting people.. I mean.. What the fuck!? People I trust everywhere around me I find out are full of crap.. I can't trust a single one to act.. honestly! Christ.. I've had enough.. I wish I could just.. move away.. lose all contact I've ever had with everyone in my life.. Just live alone..I try to stop talking to people and to stop trusting them but I can't!! Fuck! There is hardly ONE person of all i know(irl) who has not stabbed me in the back at least once.. Talking shit behind my back.. judging me.. Christ.. Again it's all too fuckin much..I should just shoot myself or something.. I don't want to die or anything but if that's all I can do to escape this shit the heck! I'll do it! After I'm done in school I'm going straight into the Army and I am so going to Iraq or Afganistan or which ever country America has fucked up and then I'm going to get shot the fuck up by some Taliban motherfucker..Easily | | |
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